The Beautiful

Transparent

I am an American
so they say
My colorful cloths and braided hair
suggest that I am an oddity
A victim of a self-righteous odyssey
I'm not those people
I'm an American

I'm an American
though I speak a different language
A barrier that creates intense anguish
Despite my people's supposed animosity
towards society
I love my American
I am American

I am an American
I probably don't look like you
Do I have to validate the truth?
I come from the other side of the world
Where I am not appreciated as a girl
I stared death down
and now I wear the crown
of freedom
of equality
of America

I am an American
in trial and in triumph
I am an American
in hatred and in ridicule
I am an American
through thick and through thin

I am an American
without and within

Now, I digress.

(I don't know where that sudden spark of patriotism came from or where my persistent desire to write poetry is coming from.)

It's Been a Weak

You can't hurt me. You can't take away my pride. I'll lock up my dignity and hide before you take away my sanity. You can't hurt me. You can't tease me and call me outside of my name. I'll label you a heathen and strip you of your self-confidence. I'll spread harsh rumors simultaneously and call it coincidence. You can't tease me and call me outside of my name. You can't invalidate the sanctity of my body and take away my temple. The devil in you isn't welcome to worship in this sanctuary. When you're searching for the soothing taste of my oasis, you'll have to go to some other estuary. You can't take away that house of refuge. You can't kiss me. You can't hold me. Please, just don't touch me. I told you already. I'm off limits. I'm off the beaten path. Please, take your business elsewhere. You can't stay here. It's really not safe here. I might mess or up, or you might say the wrong thing. I might be too mean, and you might leave. I could possibly push you too far, and you'll throw in the towel. Go now so I don't have to cope with your absence later. When you caress me and whisper in my ear, you initiate the fear. My only fear is failure don't poison my mind with that nonsense. Let me keep on my journey to success, and you remain on your expedition on the other side. The other side is not where I want to be. The other side hurt me. It stripped me of my dignity. He called me names and stole my frame. He's not coming back and neither is it.

You can't love me. You don't have a license . . . to love me, to feel me, to care for me, to stay with me. You won't stay with me. You won't love me. You'll just utter those coined and cliche phrases, and then, leave me in history with them. You'll give me the power and then take it away. You'll prey on prowess and then pray on this goddess. A goddess I'll be to you but never God. Therefore, I'll never be good enough. Therefore, it's inevitable that you'll find God in that other girl, and then, I'll be the last girl which might as well be no girl because I won't matter. You can't love me, because I'll push you away. I'll call you names and tell you that you're not worthy. You'll keep going and mistake it for flirting. I'll mingle with the other ones, and you'll display your man by wrapping your arms around my waist. I'm not going to waste my waist. I'll strip you of your masculine conceitedness and see where things go. You'll try to prove it to me, and I'll pretend like I don't know. I'll keep pushing until you walk away. I'll make you turn around, but I know you'll never stay. You can't love me. You're not that strong. You can't love me. You don't have the will. You can't love me. You'll always be wrong. You can't love me. You don't have the skill. You can't love me. You know it's true. You can't love me, because I won't let you.

Now, I digress.